First, to establish the mood, here is Maude seated on an old chair in the piano room (which is full of furniture that doesn't usually live there as I'm refinishing another room in the house; it looks rather like an old, cluttered antique store, doesn't it?) that makes her look right royal indeed. I like how the velvet matches her eyes, though I do apologize for the photo being a little blurry. She moved. Well, one can't expect the Queen to wait around all day, can one?
Okay, then, what does Her Royal Highness need?
Maude needs people, you know, not squirrels. (I don't know about that; she is a cat, after all.)
Maude needs no encouragement. (Well no, true enough.)
Maude needs recognition and appears to be replaying some hurts from the past. (Oh no! That's terrible. We all need recognition!)
Maude needs to be more of a hard ass. (Now, burying past hurts is not the way to deal with them; it only hurts more in the long run. It's okay to cry. Really!)
Maude needs to learn that respect is earned. (Fair enough.)
Maude needs the mystery to be solved before she can finish her book. (She's writing a book? She can type?)
Maude needs to perform some additional rewrites. (This is ever the way with writing, yes.)
Maude needs a science project to fill up the spare time between being a Cosmo advice columnist. (I had no idea. What else has she neglected to tell me? And what's that book about?)
Maude needs to go back to graduate school. (Wait. Back? And who's paying for this?)
Maude needs a real job. (Oh. Good. 'Cause I'm still paying off my own student loans.)
Maude needs some marijuana from her nephew, Jeff. (Ah, yes. Grad school.)
Hmmm. I think perhaps it's time Maude and I had a little talk.